i might have said i like him .
but that doesn't mean we are together .
plus i'm just recover from you .
fxxck ass .
i just wanna live happily without you .
if you want me to list all the reasons for our breakup ,
there's a never-ending list of fxxcking reasons .
even if i like him , he might not like me .
i'm already prepared to move on without you or anyone .
you think you are still the one for me ?!
you're already off my mind .
you hong , idc . i only making new friends .
you treat me like a toy in the past .
i swear i'll never fall for you ever again . and i will .
whoever i stead with in the future , it's none of your concern anymore .
and i say it , i like someone else now . not you . Love was always a mistake to begin with ♥

yesterday forgot to post .

too tired then fall asleep .

hahas , yesterday i woke up at 4++ .

talk to moron . he gave me wake up call .

so early , then talk to him .

talk talk talk till 5.45am .
he want go something .
then i went to the kitchen find something to eat .
yesterday morning sibei hungry .
then 6 , ks called .
so chat with him till , i think , 6.40am++ .
he go shower , i also go .
then i finish lerhh pack my bag and left for school .
then on the way , msg ks .
reached school . assembly so long !
then got vice principle talk . about our exam analyze .
then got pe . lazy go . but still went anyways .
then had nafa . i didn't take the previous time . got MC ;DDD
then Zahidahh actually faint and sit on my leg .
my leg went jelly on the spot .
hahas . then go back class . MATHS ALL THE WAY TILL RECESS !
SIBEI SIANNNN !
then recess luhhs , change seating arrangement .
i got back my own table and chair . HAHAHAHAH !
then announce me as the vice chairperson . haiz .
then took my bag and ran to meet kailin and the rest .
we're going SWIMMING ! ;DDDDD
hahas . stupid boys , go and call so many others to follow .
i brought ks . :D
we ate mac then go swim .
hahas . tried to learn how to swim .
very hard . tried and tired .
haiz . then at around 5+ finish bathing .
hahas . then go eat mac again .
and then kailin left . the boys went to play batminton .
i walk with ks to the park . chat and play .
then later we very wuiet for 15 minutes . then stared at each other . lols .
i so emo until dunnoes whad to say .
then i realised that it was dark .
freaked out .
then walked with ks all the way till Farmway LRT .
but we kinda had a tiff and boom .
i just walk away , but he came running after .
i dun really understand why .
later i asked him a question , he replied it coldy .
at the moment , i felt cold and alone .
it was dark , i was afraid i started walking away .
somewhere i dunnoes .
at the time i thought i needed light .
i need to go somewhere where i could think straight .
when i finally cooled down , i checked my phone .
some missed calls and msg .
mostly from ks .
content wise , sorry , it's personal .
at the moment , i realised that i felt something hard in my pocket .
i realised it was my penknife . i thought hard .
i wrote 'hurt' on the wall .
i thought of cutting , but it's no use . i survive everytime i cut .
i cried and cried . at the time , i had two roads . road to home , or hell .
i wanted the jump to my death . but my phone rang .
it says' ks calling' ; i pick it up .
talked to him . felt much better .
from that moment on , i knew that guys are not for me .
like young times , i was never allowed to have whad i want .
maybe this applies now too .
after thinking , i know that my heart is back to frozen .
maybe it was never meant to be melted .
heard of once bitten , twice shy ?
now i know whad it means .
well , love ?
i dunnoes whad that means anymore .
it's the 15th day . and counting ...
when will it eventually end ?
even if i want it to end , who will it be ?
will you the one ? D; Love was always a mistake to begin with ♥

woke up at 3 am !
FISHHY woke me up .
i still sleep till 5 :D
hahas , fishhyy still listen to me sleep .
paiisehh .
hahas ,
today got vistarian road run .
reach there at 6.45pm .
heng ; just in time .
then do marshal .
sibei tired .
shouted at the sec 2s .
now no voice .
hahas .
then go wild wild wet ;D
sibei fun .
go play ulah-lahh .
screamed like fxxck-ed idiot .
hahas . :DDDD
played other equip .
sky riders sibei scary .
scared of heights .
hahas ;DDDD
then after that , go home .
now face red red .
SUNBURN !~
pain pain ....
haiz . still thinking of him .
it's the 6th day .
can i forget him ?
who will it be ?
the one who open my heart to all the things i've yearn for ?
will that be you ? D; Love was always a mistake to begin with ♥

today woke up at 12 .
heard the tv got ghost show .
lols , wake up lerhh ,
mother nag .
cause i wake up never wash up .
hahahahaha , then go toilet .
wash up ...
then watch tv .
then all the way sleep .
cause i took 18 sleeping pills .
turst me , sleeping pills really makes you sleep well .
plus , make you feel numb .
that's my main point .
hahahs , today feels emo .
really emo .
listening to music .
same music .
hahahs .
emo to the max .
haiz . feel like forgetting him .
i really dunnoes whad to do .
i need help .
living in the dark and cold , all alone .
save me from this plight .
will that be you ? D; Love was always a mistake to begin with ♥

today , woke up at around 1++ .
last night sleep late .
hahas , today no mood .
haiz , dunnoes whads wrong .
keep listening to the song 'one' by Epik High .
this song , darn emo .
it's about a girl , darn emo .
she cannot tahan her life .
she took some medicine to calm herslef down .
but instead she became bersek .
whenever she see black , she'll burst .
then she cannot tahan , go swallow sleeping pills .
she drink water then drop the glass .
at first she vomitted everything ,
then she walk back because she cut her foot with the glass that broke on the floor .
she took out and put plaster .
then she came back to her senses .
but when she saw herself in the mirror .
she freak out again .
used her lipstick she wrote the word : sangcheo which means wound , on the mirror .
she started to throw everything one the floor .
next she saw the sleeping pills ,
she swallowed the rest of the bottles .
she died . but some Investigator / angel , came singing and then revive her .
telling her that life is precious .
this song , means 'you are the one , my savior'
the saviour that bought live and love back to her .
i wish my saviour will come and save me from the dark and cold .
will you be the one ? D; Love was always a mistake to begin with ♥

it's a long time since i post .
because alot of things happened .
on 270409 , i got a police case .
mother toot . so angry .
i got accused for not doing anything .
long story . i dun wanna talk about it .
now i'm still under probation .
so darn fucked up .
the police even scolded me 'fuck' word
wtf ?! ...
anyways , this few days , i'm guai like hell .
cannot do this , cannot do that . haiz .
i miss my old life .
i've lost three things,
TRUST , FREEDOM , FAITH .
my parents lost the trust in me .
i've lost my freedom .
i've lost the faith of going on with life .
haiz . nothing makes me happier than my winnie the pooh .
every night peii wo . lols .
anyways , today i'm going to study all the way :D
chiong arhhhhhhh , lols .
woke up at 10++ .
now still tired .
okies larhhh , going to study liaos .
Love was always a mistake to begin with ♥