yesterday forgot to post .

too tired then fall asleep .

hahas , yesterday i woke up at 4++ .

talk to moron . he gave me wake up call .

so early , then talk to him .

talk talk talk till 5.45am .
he want go something .
then i went to the kitchen find something to eat .
yesterday morning sibei hungry .
then 6 , ks called .
so chat with him till , i think , 6.40am++ .
he go shower , i also go .
then i finish lerhh pack my bag and left for school .
then on the way , msg ks .
reached school . assembly so long !
then got vice principle talk . about our exam analyze .
then got pe . lazy go . but still went anyways .
then had nafa . i didn't take the previous time . got MC ;DDD
then Zahidahh actually faint and sit on my leg .
my leg went jelly on the spot .
hahas . then go back class . MATHS ALL THE WAY TILL RECESS !
SIBEI SIANNNN !
then recess luhhs , change seating arrangement .
i got back my own table and chair . HAHAHAHAH !
then announce me as the vice chairperson . haiz .
then took my bag and ran to meet kailin and the rest .
we're going SWIMMING ! ;DDDDD
hahas . stupid boys , go and call so many others to follow .
i brought ks . :D
we ate mac then go swim .
hahas . tried to learn how to swim .
very hard . tried and tired .
haiz . then at around 5+ finish bathing .
hahas . then go eat mac again .
and then kailin left . the boys went to play batminton .
i walk with ks to the park . chat and play .
then later we very wuiet for 15 minutes . then stared at each other . lols .
i so emo until dunnoes whad to say .
then i realised that it was dark .
freaked out .
then walked with ks all the way till Farmway LRT .
but we kinda had a tiff and boom .
i just walk away , but he came running after .
i dun really understand why .
later i asked him a question , he replied it coldy .
at the moment , i felt cold and alone .
it was dark , i was afraid i started walking away .
somewhere i dunnoes .
at the time i thought i needed light .
i need to go somewhere where i could think straight .
when i finally cooled down , i checked my phone .
some missed calls and msg .
mostly from ks .
content wise , sorry , it's personal .
at the moment , i realised that i felt something hard in my pocket .
i realised it was my penknife . i thought hard .
i wrote 'hurt' on the wall .
i thought of cutting , but it's no use . i survive everytime i cut .
i cried and cried . at the time , i had two roads . road to home , or hell .
i wanted the jump to my death . but my phone rang .
it says' ks calling' ; i pick it up .
talked to him . felt much better .
from that moment on , i knew that guys are not for me .
like young times , i was never allowed to have whad i want .
maybe this applies now too .
after thinking , i know that my heart is back to frozen .
maybe it was never meant to be melted .
heard of once bitten , twice shy ?
now i know whad it means .
well , love ?
i dunnoes whad that means anymore .
it's the 15th day . and counting ...
when will it eventually end ?
even if i want it to end , who will it be ?
will you the one ? D; Love was always a mistake to begin with ♥